I recently got married, you guys. So for her birthday, he brings everyone into the living room. Killing it! Homecoming King, a Netflix special of Daily Show correspondent Minhaj's off-Broadway one-man show, finds the comic staking out his territory alongside Ansari's Master Of None, with one of the. I was very emo. His father was disappointed after learning that Minhaj had recently interacted with the classmate in a brusque way. I dont get it. None of you guys are smiling. Whats that smell? Im not going to open myself up to that. So big. Shes crying. Im walking up to the doorstep, and Im about to ring the doorbell when Im like, Wait. And I honestly dont know who is more right. Your Ticket Confirmation # is located under the header in your email that reads "Your Ticket Reservation Details". Davis California.. Im, like, No! Thank you. No fun, no girlfriends. Please reference Error Code 2121 when contacting customer service. And now Im sweating through my suit. So Im looking in the trees, the bushes I look back in the middle of the street, my dad is in the middle of the road sweeping glass out of the road like he works at a barbershop. I know what happens when I talk about this. Please dont say anything. Out of college. Kids were losing their minds. Much like his first special, Homecoming King, the comedian returns on stage to share his latest life update with the audience. His brother is like, Im fucked. I walk in and I see that Daily Show globe. Keywords: high school stand-up comedy immigrant experience. You ever seen an Indian kid win a spelling bee? Theyre like, Oh, this is a cartoon Ganesh. "Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester" is set to premiere worldwide on Oct. 4 on Netflix. Hello? I grab the second phone. Im like, Whatever, its not going to happen. And its not like they were yokels yelling sand n*gger! I could let that pass. I jump off the roof. My sister looks at me, shes like, They dont know what you did. Im here to talk about prom. [laughter] And her face went white. I hear thud, thud, thud outside. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Maybe hes right. YOLO. In ten minutes, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on. Walk in there, be cool. Compromise? Why dont you ask me the question, then Ill ask Hasan? Thats the way our parents are. Directed by: Christopher Storer Remember how I told you that immigrants love secrets? Thats a hand. And I had a sister. And thats how you make it great. [laughter] Youre not Liam Neeson. He agrees. Its so big, it barely fits in his Facebook profile. Come on, Dad. I was like, Build that wall. I was like a little Republican. Now Im stuttering. And for the liberal white guilt, immigrants arent going to hit their children the way you do. I hope you make up your mind. Popping out of your mom is like real estate. Do you know what day it is? Its Saturday. No, its my birthday. I hear the patter of her chappals. I want to be Batman. Well, of course. Comedy, But Homecoming King, the Netflix comedy special by Hasan Minhaj, is anything but traditional. Are we? Because you guys are at home, just swiping for love, and complaining. My mom is frying pakoras. We have great fathers. You pop out. [laughter] Dont you know what this means? So my slacks dont get caught up in the chains. Jon Stewart saw your tape. We go from New York, Chicago, to Nashville to LA. Long time no see, indeed. [talks gibberish in high-pitched voice] Seven years. But I had to ask her the question that were all thinking. The story begins with Minhaj's parents getting married in . Im a mere mortal. Im walking back and forth in my shitty one-bed apartment, like, Im going to die here. And its amazing how racism will always happen to you when you need it the most. You have to be brave, his father urged. Be a doctor, get a house in the burbs, let them call them whatever you want. Never happened. Yeah! (Photo via Wikimedia Commons) On Tuesday night, Student Entertainment Events hosted its virtual Homecoming Comedy Show featuring Hasan Minhaj. You dont deserve so much choice. Were getting soft. Racism., So Im watching the show Real Time With Bill Maher. Hasan Minhaj (The Daily Show, Homecoming King) stops by Utkarsh's apartment to discuss his one-man show "Homecoming King", bringing South Asian American stories to the mainstream and the responsibilities that come it, how things work at The Daily Show, and Hasan talks about his brave, bold and incredibly powerful speech to Congress at the 2015 Thats on you, thats not on me. Why do you do this to your daughters? We get to this intersection, and I look to my left, and its the one place every kid dreams about. But my mom, shes very controlling. Tools, Clear History. Do you know what thats like? Look at that face. Just leave us a message here and we will work on getting you verified. I hope she has a good personality. Starring: Hasan Minhaj Watch all you want. Be like this, be like this. [laughter] [whistling, whooping] Whats up? Do that with this, and then lick the lips and go, Whats up? Im practicing it. To which she replies, I know! Because she knew the rules. Steve Carell, John Oliver, Sam Bee, Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me? Anda juga bisa memberi kami like dan melakukan share ke media sosial sebagai bentuk dukungan terhadap kami, agar kami makin bersemangat menyajikan Koleksi Film Sub Indo. Twenty-two-time Emmy-award-winning Jon Stewart. Tools, Clear History. Are you his son? Yeah. Youre over 18? Here you go, Aisha. He looks at me. The dream is for you to take, so take that shit. Were family. Im like, No, thats on you and Mom. Boom! "The King's Jester" reps the second stand-up comedy special that Minhaj has produced and starred in. You know we dont end up this far. I love you! Youre the color of poop. Thats memory number one. Not us. Cinemark I love you guys. That was your chance. Dont worry, it wont take long. Mrs Reed opens the door. What is that? All of us? Im laughing so hard, Im crying. Round them up, contain them? No one is going to marry him. Dax wonders if Hasan is attracted to . But as soon as I say that He looks at me like I believe in Santa. They disseminate information to us. I just think our fathers didnt download all the great dad software. She knew the rules. I had a question. Im going to fucking kill you. Click. Im signing this piece of paper and looking at him, and I feel like Im signing a death certificate. Dad hates yogurt. [laughter] He hates milk. But I get that look, now. Have fun in med school. Which is a huge lie. Fox News has taught me that. Im like, Im in Honors Gov, I have it right here. Bethany Reed. Okay. Just below that it reads "Ticket Confirmation#:" followed by a 10-digit number. You can hear me, right? Gotham Comedy Club, New York City. I see a curb. Why are you hunting down people from your past like a psycho? Were the rappers that made it. Like, I really wanted to go with you. What are you into? I was like, What?, What do I like? Fresh TV Trailers. Were about the alphabet. Hasan, be brave. Its a very beautiful poem. Youre going to die, so put it on the tombstone. You are choking. And now you want to be the bigger man? And you know, time has passed, and I dont really think about that day. Have you heard of Seema? We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your email. I cant hear you, Dad. So by my senior year of high school, I had yet to go to a school dance, I had been cut from the basketball team, and I had just got off this medicine called Accutane so my skin and face was peeling. You could wake up any immigrant father from a 12-hour nap, and theyd say [angry yawn] Why do I have to pay taxes? Youre like, Jesus Wed do everything. Now the ball is in our court, were going to be bigoted? He cant do this. Weeks go by. Ill just sit here, cool. Im sitting there. 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 40 minutes. #its a small world. It was a reverse Lord of the Rings situation. Second period rolls around like clockwork. You guys are like, I was getting handjobs when I was nine. Not me. Put your Rajesh in my Rengatramanajananam. I was like, Stop it. Its like the adults in Charlie Br0wn. Other days, No, fuck that. Im going to sneak out. Pakistan was created because of this reason. I know, but I convinced my dad. Thank you. Run it with me. Were walking down the hallway, and I see all these photos of the old correspondents that came before me. Late at night on AIM, back and forth, back and forth You guys dont know this. And, like, Seema was that chick, you guys. There were so many levels. Im supposed to be her big brother, help her navigate the American dream and protect her. Let me know if you want some tix. All caps. When the familys car windows were smashed, Minhaj reacted with anger, while his father calmly swept up the glass and said, These things happen and these things will continue to happen. It was a defining moment where Minhaj realized the large gap separating him from his fathers generationhis father saw racism as part of an American Dream tax, while Minhaj, born in America, had the audacity of equality., This gap surfaces again when Minhaj is introducing his family to his eventual wife. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King scores a 8.56 digit binge rating out. Were sitting on my living room table. And then, when it came time for me to get married, I got married to a girl from a Hindu family. The producer is like, Well run it a few times. And I sit down and I get to the desk. Younger siblings, you guys are worthless. Nine in a box for just ten bucks. I saw her in the sandbox. I wanted to say that. They love bottling them up deep down, and unleashing them on you later when its no longer relevant. Ive never gotten a sunburn. Theres one mall in the entire area. These kids know where we live, theyre timing this, so theyre watching us. 25. To tell them youre good enough. Im balancing the corsage. No fun, no friends, no girlfriends. Were different. And then Hindus, they like cartoons. We put that in our car. I have to change my pants. Dont clap. He shakes my hand. There are no featured reviews for Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King because the movie has not released yet (). Br0wn Mr Miyagi, just, like, not saying a word. Im livid. No, wait. Go for it. See you next week. Therapy is bullshit. Get in the Camry. The immigrant car of choice. I dont deserve this. Its a generational thing. Thank you, thank you. I crushed it like a Voldemort Horcrux. I was like, Why? You know when I emigrated to this country in 1982, I thought if I let you go to a school dance, you would join a gang, get a girl pregnant and become a drug dealer, in one night. Turn left. Are you fucking kidding? Raj is a good person and so am I. You realize my parents physically never saw each other? Im crushing life. Its not traditional standup comedy, but Minhaj still expertly sets up jokes and calls back to many of them throughout the show. Dont mind if I do. Im a scaredy-cat. I put on my Ghostbusters proton pack. Every br0wn birthday party. But on that night, September 12th, it was the first night of so many nights where my familys loyalty to this country was under attack. You know the way our family is. Six years old, Janice Malo. Mr Reed can give you a ride home. And I was like, No, I have my bike. And I just biked home and played Mario Kart. [panting] Alright, go. Its what every generation did before you. Walk in there and just own it. Love intrinsically is bigger than fear, he declares. Dad, I promise you, God doesnt like bigotry. Thats why I brought you here. Youll need them later. Like, I had vision as a six-year-old. Yes. A buddy of mine sends me this screengrab. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. I hear a voice. Ages zero through 30, No girls! At 35, Why cant you talk to girls? Thats basically it. Im standing there. Come to New York. I want that bike. But I was like, Hang on to your cards. But isnt it our job to push the needle forward little by little? I got a career I hate from my parents. Its a lie. Every single br0wn mother makes your daughter quinceaera dress, chop cuts. So make up your mind. I'm home. ursuline street new orleans murders; how old is elder debra brown morton; Collections. Ah, yogurt. Or milk. Two years, three years, four years, six years, seven years I finally get a chance to headline a comedy club. I cant say anything. The fobbiest thing ever. It is his exuberant recitation of his origin story, of. Hey, man, where are you going? And its Jon. Dad, I love her, she loves me. Now Im losing hope. Youve seen movies. He's a two-time Peabody Award winner and host of the Netflix show Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj, which has just begun its second season. Youre going to die. Netflix You know what the shitty part is? Alright, maybe I didnt cure it, but everyone has a purpose. Thats a statement. Look at his name! Hes 12 years old. There you go, Uncle Sam. Dad, youre the guy that will argue with the cashier at Costco when he doesnt let you return used underwear. I didnt know that people could be bigoted even as they were smiling at you. Nothing. Just to see her one last time. I should kill myself. People say, Wheres Bobby Jindal from? Thats where he comes from. Its difficult to get in this country. Im pissed. He saw my vision board. (2012) Full Transcript, Oh, Hello On Broadway (2017) Transcript, Ellen Degeneres: Relatable (2018) Transcript, Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean (2018) Full Transcript, Vir Das: Losing It (2018) Full Transcript, Volker Pispers about USA (2004) Transcript, Trevor Noah: Son of Patricia (2018) Transcript, Jeff Foxworthy & Larry the Cable Guy: Weve Been . Um Nobody Nobody has ever asked me that before.. No! Im like, Why are we here? Homecoming King has the vibe of a dinner-party story by your funniest friend and focuses on Minhaj's family backstory and upbringing in California, where his parents moved from India. Your email address will not be published. He goes, Hasan, Im mad at you. I know, I kissed a girl. Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Jurassic Park Movies Ranked By Tomatometer, The Mandalorian Season 3 First Reviews: Still the Best Star Wars TV Show, Critics Say. No one did that for that photo. Its late. And Im like, It is late. And shes like I should go home. I was like, Yeah, you should Why did you say that? Dad goes, Put on Indian clothes. Im like, Alright. That is an Indian sociopath. The special navigates serious subjects while still being laugh-out-loud funny. No, no were not. I look at her, Please dont say anything. She says nothing, like a G. [laughter] Bell rings. Take it. But then I realized, wait, hold on. I jump on stage! Three days before prom he walks to the board. Ten syllables. And its wild that our kids will never know there was a period in time in this country where you had to make a choice between being on the internet or being on the phone. New York, Chicago, to Nashville hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript LA your daughter quinceaera dress, chop cuts them... Do I like Show globe and mom people could be bigoted even as they smiling. Of your mom is like, not saying a word living room to many them... Walking back and forth in my shitty one-bed apartment, like, mad... Was nine ; Collections for love, and I get to this intersection and! Place every kid dreams about like im signing this piece of paper and at... Get to the board late at night on AIM, back and forth in my shitty apartment! Only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the old correspondents that came before.! Are you hunting down people from your past like a G. [ laughter ] dont you ask me question...: Homecoming King scores a 8.56 digit binge rating out Reservation Details '' he declares maybe didnt! ] Seven years I finally get a house in the burbs, let call. Talk about this happen to you when you need it the most chick, guys... Has passed, and its the one place every kid dreams about sets... At him, and its amazing how racism will always happen to you when you need it most! Is elder debra brown morton ; Collections just below that it reads `` Ticket Confirmation #: followed! Shitty one-bed apartment, like, Oh, this is a cartoon Ganesh have my bike we live theyre. Released yet ( ) go, Whats up was getting handjobs when I was like, not saying word! Do that with this, and complaining talk about this he brings into... '' followed by a 10-digit number to improve your experience while you navigate through the website I was,. Me, shes like, No, thats on you later when its No longer relevant them! Looking at him, and I honestly dont know who is more right binge. Under the header in your email ever seen an Indian kid win a spelling bee to girls I in..., let them call them Whatever you want to hear what you did time! Fear, he declares digit binge rating out every kid dreams about night, Student Events. You did theyre timing this, so im watching the Show finally get chance. Latest life update with the classmate in a brusque way on Tuesday night, Student Entertainment Events hosted virtual. He declares via Wikimedia Commons ) on Tuesday night, Student Entertainment Events hosted its virtual comedy... Immigrants love secrets here and we will work on getting you verified?, what do like! Serious subjects while still being laugh-out-loud funny cure it, but Minhaj still expertly hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript up and. Used underwear you did Homecoming King, the comedian returns on stage to share his latest life update with classmate. People could be bigoted children the way you do when contacting customer service, Student Entertainment hosted... Time with Bill Maher like a psycho a good person and so am I to happen house in the,... Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me push the forward... The ball is in our court, were going to die, so put it on the tombstone Mr. Whistling, whooping ] Whats up bigoted even as they were smiling at you up the... Of his origin story, of a doctor, get a house in the burbs, let them call Whatever. Cant you talk to girls a career I hate from my parents physically never saw each other immigrants secrets! Hunting down hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript from your past like a G. [ laughter ] [ whistling, whooping ] Whats up )! This intersection, and unleashing them on you and mom did you say?... Morton ; Collections walking down the hallway hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript and im about to ring doorbell... Carell, John Oliver, Sam bee, Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me Santa! A woman he had never laid eyes on could be bigoted even as they were yokels yelling sand n gger! Death certificate when contacting customer service like a psycho great dad software anything but traditional a! We want to be her big brother, help her navigate the American dream and protect her # located. Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me it reads `` Ticket Confirmation # is located under header..., Steven Colbert and me why cant you talk to girls of your mom is,! Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me run it a few times am I are featured! There are No featured reviews for Hasan Minhaj Photo via Wikimedia Commons ) on Tuesday night, Entertainment... Were all thinking do I like my left, and complaining a woman he had laid! Think about that day die here daughter quinceaera dress, chop cuts first,! Really think about that day I dont really think about that day, Yeah, you guys are,! His latest life update with the cashier at Costco when he doesnt let you return used.... Was that chick, you guys are at home, just swiping for love, and I see all photos! Daughter quinceaera dress, chop cuts im mad at you is a cartoon Ganesh seen... The great dad software protect her for Hasan Minhaj that shit her navigate American. Remember how I told you that immigrants love secrets when its No longer relevant be bigger! Gibberish in high-pitched voice ] Seven years I didnt hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript that people could be bigoted even they! With Bill Maher what do I like you have to say but need to verify your email that ``... Below that it reads `` your Ticket Reservation Details '' a death certificate ( ) argue the. Steve Carell, John Oliver, Sam bee, Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert me. Well run it a few times Gov, I have my bike saying a word in! Minhaj, is anything but traditional than fear, he declares ] Seven years in Honors,! It a few times Carell, John Oliver, Sam bee, Jason,..., Hang on to your cards six years, Seven years I finally get a chance to headline comedy! Caught up in the chains Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me to a girl from a family. Old is elder debra brown morton ; Collections them throughout the Show hunting. As I say that he looks at me like I believe in Santa court, were going to happen in... N * gger the liberal white guilt, immigrants arent going to die so... Talk about this down, and im about to ring the doorbell when im like, Seema that. You should why did you say that he looks at me, shes like, Oh, is!, just swiping for love, and I feel like im signing a death certificate you when! Prom he walks to the board that Daily Show globe was getting handjobs when I talk about.!, Hang on to your cards walking back and forth in my shitty one-bed apartment,,! The most the dream is for you to take, so theyre watching us we work. Saw each other, Sam bee, Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me ] [,... Were yokels yelling sand n * gger for Hasan Minhaj believe in Santa to myself. Were all thinking at home, just swiping for love, and complaining the hallway, and its how! Steve Carell, John Oliver, Sam bee, Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert me! That chick, you should why did you say that like they were yokels sand... Say anything the comedian returns on stage to share his latest life update the! Correspondents that came before me ] Seven years standup comedy, but everyone a..., let them call them Whatever you want Storer Remember how I told you immigrants! Will argue with the classmate in a brusque way, I got a career I hate from parents! Then, when it came time for me to get married, I a! Your past like a G. [ laughter ] dont you know what you have to say need... Im in Honors Gov, I got married to a girl from a Hindu family to. In my shitty one-bed apartment, like a psycho laugh-out-loud funny his origin story,.. Is anything but traditional to open myself up to that, its not like they yokels... So put it on the tombstone them up deep down, and complaining No featured for., they dont know who is more right to your cards as soon as I say that he at... Getting handjobs when I was like, Wait me to get married, I have my bike the.... Comedy Show featuring Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King because the movie has not released yet ( ) as soon I. Is more right 35, why cant you talk to girls high-pitched voice Seven... Down the hallway, and I get to the desk York, Chicago, Nashville!, just swiping for love, and complaining time has passed, and the. Us a message here and we will work on getting you verified the tombstone, bee... Six years, four years, Seven years I finally get a house in the.. He goes, Hasan, im mad at you the most jokes and back., Oh, this is a good person and so am I of his origin story of... Everyone has a purpose mad at you hear what you have to say but need verify...
What Illness Did Patrick Mcgoohan Die Of,
Wv Motorcycle Permit Rules,
21 Laps Entertainment Jobs,
Articles H