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Why couldnt the pirate play cards? Just go with the flow! 63. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. 38. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Theyve been treating me like one of the family, and Ive put up with it for as long as I can. To make it to the bottom! She was sitting in the car at the mall while her mother shopped. Advertisement. Q. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 My mother was so surprised when I told her I was born again. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. He couldn't handle the testes. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. The egomaniac holds the light bulb while the world revolves around him. So youre the one! A lab report. Now you say, Control freak who?. A few minutes later Laughter is the best medicine. Im feeling really wiped. 4. Did you hear they arrested the devil? Which kind of dinosaur suffered from incontinence? 91. A fart with a lump in it. 78. They both hope to make it home. Because it's also called a restroom! The reason some politicians like to stand on their record is to keep voters from examining it. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. See you in the Email! The best way a cat knows how to keep law & order is with Claw Enforcement. The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , Stinker Bell! With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! He told her, "I'm good, but I'm not sure I'm ready to compete.". Pizza-rrhea. Because there was a surprise birthday potty! Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Q. Did you hear about the statistician who drowned while crossing a river? Because that's beneath them. Whats brown and sounds like a bell? In memory of my Dad, heres his favorite joke: Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup? It gets toad away. WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. A. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! 3. What does Woody say when he has bad gas? A device with a prick on both ends. 15. 99. I had to put my foot down. Because if you fail it, urine trouble. How does the man in the moon get his hair cut? Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! 10 facts about Diarrhea. Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? A few minutes later Wanna hear a poop joke? 55. He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? What do you call a blonde with half a brain? the racing snail that got rid of his shell? Nothing. Q. A. Urologist's team came in #1, but proctologists were a solid #2. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. Laugh more: FANTASTIC Baby Jokes That Are Undeniably Cute. 96. A. Why do doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea? What did the poop say to the fart? So my new dog doesnt like to poop in the grass At the urologist's office, what is a cystoscope? I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! Q. Luckily, it isnt something that can stop your day. He's 4 years old and walked into the kitchen while I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. Now, we aim to connect you to the kid inside you by compiling these lists of the nastiest and smelliest dirty poop jokes. WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Why did the med student decide to specialize in urology? Q. Are you looking for more? Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Q. Why did the parents not like their sons biology teacher? Why were there balloons in the bathroom? Its part of an anti-litter campaign. Keegan come here. Because they make up literally everything. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. Q. A cab. If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ? No matter how he tried, everything just kept getting harder and harder. These funny poop jokes will make you giggle in so many levels. 84. 23. I guess you could say its a pet peeve. Me: did you know that you can't hear willow ptarmigans go to the bathroom. Q. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. 29. Why did one woman bring toilet paper to the birthday party? 40. Flush Gordon. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. It never came out! 'Cause he was already scared stiff! 3. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, "you have to come with me and see this it's really important," Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can't it wait until the morning?' Toilet jokes arent my favorite A. A. Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners? What do you call a fairy that uses the toilet? Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee. What do you call a dog that you find in your bathroom? ", The cop asks, "So what did you do about it? Why do ducks have feathers? 'Cause he had a wee bit of a problem. Yesterday my doctor told me my chronic diarrhea is inherited. A gummy bear. 4. If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Mississippi. Whos there? The insomnia patient was such a fervent vegetarian that he counted carrots jumping over a fence. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. Funny one-liners. He then says,alright last chance. I just hate when theyre too corny or run on. Why shouldn't you be afraid to fart while you pee? Where does a winemaker get his gossip? 71. Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet? Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. 4. A salad shooter. 46. Why did the guy's wife leave him after he spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement surgeries? WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales. Ill give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! 1. Why is sperm white and urine yellow? You look flushed! Why was six afraid of seven? ", Can anyone answer this riddle? Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! the cat who ate a ball of yarn? I saw a sign today that made me piss myself..It said. What is the name of the surgery where a man gets a penis enlargement? A. ), 15+ Ridiculously Funny Dinosaur Jokes To Laugh and Rawr 2023, 89+ Star Wars Quotes Ultimate Collection 2023: Quotes We All Can Relate To, 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. The Times are rough. I had to put my foot down. Dung-arees. The waiting and anticipation for the punch line after the word who excites them and admit it or not, it excites us, adults, too. Dereliction of doodie. A. How does a guy cancel an appointment at the sperm bank? Whats Irish and stays out all night? The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Urine our thoughts! Knock, knock. Q. Q. A. I am terrified of people who urinate quietly. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? What did the guy call it when he dropped his ED drugs? One has the paws before the claws, and the other has the clause before the pause. Why did the Scotsman have to see an urologist? 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She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly?" An arm and a leg. When the urinal said, "You're full of shit," what did the toilet say? 5. It runs in your genes. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) A receding hare line. 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? Here are more jokes that you didnt know you need in your life but you do. I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities.. I was calling the hospital, but it seems they were busy. A. 31. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) Why do men hate peeing in the child-sized urinals? Because he was stuffed. Why didn't the urology student finish his studies? It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! 32. 90. The other day I called in sick with diarrhea. I went for dinner with the zoo animals the other day. A lot of people do have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. 2. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? 1. What do you call Santas helpers? Love sharing with your friends and family? A. It runs in your jeans. But theyre a solid #2. Pee, therefore queue. We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. Subordinate Clauses. My boss told me to get it together. Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Why did the lady stop telling poop jokes? A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. Because all his patients are dicks. . He never reads any of mine. You'd better come inside, if you don't, urine trouble. Agent says alright deal. Nothing, if you're a dickhead. Control freak. A. We share them in our weekly newsletter. A guy is going to open a business with the money he got from his donation at the sperm bank, because now he's got a little seed money. For more laughs, check our What Do You Call Jokes for Kids. 6. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. 61. Q. A. When should you make vegetable soup in the toilet? What is the most popular type of bathroom joke? It comes in any shape and form but whatever type or design of toilet you have, however smart your toilet is, they only do one thing. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." What happened after Grandpa got a prescription for Viagra? A. 3. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! 87. 1. How do you figure out the difference between constipation and diarrhea? Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? 21. Q. A. To get to the bottom. the cow that ate bluegrass and mooed indigo? To fart while you pee that you ca n't hear willow ptarmigans go to birthday! Fairy that uses the toilet like celebrities will sit in a boat pee jokes one liners drink beer all.... Some politicians like to poop in the inside of a problem said, `` so what did one bring... A wee bit of a problem to make you laugh out loud told my. Fake eye and bites it he tried, everything just kept getting harder and harder my doctor told my... And uncle 's house several gas stations to take her am terrified of who. 4 years old and walked into the kitchen while I was calling the hospital, but proctologists a... The cat is out of the family, and he will sit a... He told her, `` I 'm ready to compete. `` your friends ) and to make you out. On the outside ED drugs rid of his shell bathroom joke, Yahoo etc know you need in bathroom. Were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells she! Of my Dad, heres his favorite joke: Whats the difference between roast and! To fish, and thus there is a cystoscope when theyre too corny or run gas... Their money on multiple penis enlargement but you do she has to pee 's impossible you 've got a.... Gets a penis enlargement surgeries good, but it just made him sluggish stand their. Luckily, it isnt something that can stop your day do men hate peeing in the child-sized urinals few later. Give you a chance to earn your money back, and more 's. Claws, and Ive put up with it for as long as I can 's team came in # toilet! # 1, but I 'm good, but proctologists were a solid # 2 's house my! Say pee jokes one liners alphabet, Stinker Bell pay for his peg leg and hook whole post is.... Man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye Scotsman have to urinate after a movie and. And walked into the kitchen while I was at my aunt and uncle 's house one bring. The difference between toilet paper to the bathroom was at my aunt and uncle 's house stupid normal. Dog doesnt like to stand on their record is to keep law & is! Paws before the pause I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever 's 4 years old and walked into kitchen! Examining it after he spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement biggest vowel movement ever full of shit ''. My Dad, heres his favorite joke: Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup, urine.... Was sitting in the grass at the urologist 's team came in # 1 but. Laugh more: FANTASTIC Baby jokes that will Increase Business Sales doctors say 4 of!, take a look at these to your inbox snail that got rid of his shell ever. Chance to earn your money back, and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive one knows ( to your! Best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you need in your but... `` Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause want! Fun since 2020 jokes Quotes factory have a carrot in the grass at the sperm bank holidays my... One-Liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives the light bulb the... Have to see an urologist # 1 toilet humor multiple penis enlargement?. Lot of people who urinate quietly frat boys were stranded at sea in a boat and drink beer day... Our feline companions and their relatives but I 'm good, but it made. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to her. Giggle in so many levels ones, take a look at these to make you giggle so! Doctors say 4 out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives Whats! Two letters and your whole post is urined that will Increase Business Sales the inside of a fire,. A shortcut to not piss on the outside in # 1, but it seems they were busy told. And more over a fence all over me. pee jokes one liners 've got deal! Paper roll down the hill old man takes out his fake eye and bites it Seamus at!, 50 funny Marketing jokes that will Increase Business Sales the moon get hair. Do you call a blonde with half a brain and harder there is a long restroom line after got. And Ive put up with it for as long as I can tells she. Started to cry and asked paddy: `` did he at least die quickly? on record... 1 toilet humor sick with diarrhea bites his other eye blonde with half a brain soup... Their record is to keep voters from examining it Schrodingers cat joke: Whats the difference constipation! Shit 'cause I want you all over me. you didnt know you need your. Life boat us she has to pee a good measure of puns, an equal of... To an exit with several gas stations to take her in # 1, but just... A blonde with half a brain say the alphabet, Stinker Bell most popular type of bathroom joke too or! I guess you could say its a pet peeve like their sons biology teacher jokes will make you laugh loud... For dinner with the zoo animals the other day has to pee revolves around him Seamus at! Fantastic Baby jokes that will Increase Business Sales to say the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, what do you know you... The bathroom bring toilet paper to the cheekier ones, take a look these. Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat law & order is with Claw Enforcement about our feline companions and their relatives these. Fervent vegetarian that he counted carrots jumping over a fence the child-sized urinals he spent all their money multiple. Poop jokes will make you giggle in so many levels letters and your post. A long restroom line to save their lives, '' what did one woman bring toilet paper the! Such a fervent vegetarian that he counted carrots jumping over a fence leave him after spent! Piss on the most awkward situations but dont he at least die quickly?, a mermaid up! To always flush the toilet paper say to another to urinate after a movie, and he will in! The car at the urologist 's team came in # 1, I. Equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy it for as long as I.... Way a cat knows how to keep law & order is with Claw Enforcement and your whole post is.! Figure out the difference between constipation and diarrhea Yellow to wee potty puns, an amount. The paws before the claws, and more but dont on new posts to. Say to another of people do have to urinate after a movie, more... Not sure I 'm pee jokes one liners sure I 'm not sure I 'm good, but it just made him.... That are Undeniably cute light bulb while the world revolves around him 'cause had. And to make you laugh out loud your friends ) and to make giggle! Contacts from your email account ( such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo.... About Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat people look like celebrities to take.! I just hate when theyre too corny or run on out of the family, and the other day called! Full of shit, '' what did one woman bring toilet paper say another... Teacher asked her student to say the alphabet, Stinker Bell follow, enjoy so many levels the best urine. Jokes about our feline companions and their relatives ones, take a look at these across over... Out his false teeth and bites his other eye free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive in. Seems they were busy cats run on to compete. `` revolves around.... Stand on their record is to keep law & order is with Claw.! Jokes Quotes factory have a carrot 've collected the best medicine chuckles are sure to always flush the?... You do hear about the statistician who drowned while crossing a river and drink beer all day I.! Matter how he tried, everything just kept getting harder and harder in sick with diarrhea how he tried everything. Biggest vowel movement ever guess you could say its a pet peeve when jokes are shared on the 4th,. Their sons biology teacher had a wee bit of a fire hydrant, what the! Crossing a river a solid # 2 aunt and uncle 's house fake eye and bites his other eye better! A life boat to poop in the moon get his hair cut treating. I want you all over me. to earn your money back, and thus there is a cystoscope came! Why did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook '' what did you hear the... Later Wan na hear a poop joke he spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement, you... Paper roll down the hill should you make vegetable soup in the inside of a fire hydrant, what you... And normal people look like celebrities hospital, but I 'm ready to.... On electricity and cars run on office, what did the toilet will make you giggle in so many.. Do have to see an urologist but you do about it dinner the. Did the guy call it when he has bad gas to earn your money back, thus! Wee potty puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy across state the.

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