A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. Make a note of any additional topics you may need to discuss. In a way, men can be almost child like in their ignorance of understanding a womans view of sexual relations and vice versa. He wants me tied to the house serving him. He'll try to kiss me occasionally and I give him my cheek. Intense. If your husband is unwilling to get treatment, your marriage has little future. We haven't had sex since conception and haven't slept on the same bed. He seems distant, and you're . After all, it wont be long before you can teach your toddler where his/her dirty clothes go and they can learn to do it themselves! Share kindness, support and compassion, not criticism. I'm 8 weeks pregnant and for the last week or so I have threw up everyday and not really a fan of food at the moment or certain smells. To answer your question, the time for you to be happy is now. You are nostalgic for your 17-year-old self and your summer of love. Expressing ones self in a constructive manner is what is going to improve your relationship. , Nah. Dont get me started on when he starts asking me to do stuff because hes holding baby., Can you get me a blanket? If you ask a couple about sex and affection, most people will respond and feel differently. For the last while every time he comes near me I flinch and when he touches me I literally get shivers, and not in a good way. Come home and kiss that man! I am just miserable and confused. While many troubled marriages can be saved, some spouses decide its better to end the marriage instead of fighting one more battle. The word obey has been removed from the marriage service, but sometimes it takes more than omitting a word to overcome centuries of tradition. I've come to the realization that I just flat out do not like my wife anymore. If you think seeing a therapist will help, then do it! What do you do when your husband treats you like you are stupid and shouldnt have any important voice in anything. I love him and I made a vow to him and our emotions are a little bit controllable. We often get to the point where it just becomes repulsive to us because its become so emotionally empty. Help me please! If he's gonna kiss me he better brush his teeth. He moved the toilet paper to a different spot in the bathroom this morning and I was livid.I feel bad after but in the moment it's like I can't help myself. Im ambitious and want to be free to do things. Its hard to narrow down exactly why you feel this way, but everything he does gets on your nerves. You may wonder why you and your husband repeatedly have the same problems. Log Out. Philippas answer It is quite usual when we are unhappy to blame the person nearest to us, but your husband does appear to deserve some of your irritation. You're cooking a baby and hormones are going nuts so it's fine it'll get better. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. Just imagine how you would feel if he started being mean to you for no reason that was in your control. Marriages are hard work, and sometimes the effort brings about much-needed change. Ive definitely havent cleaned up sometimes esp when moving fast & having young kids! Create an account or log in to participate. My advice was that the routines of marriage had caught up with them. Whether you are a new parent or pregnant, if you have any concerns or questions about your relationships with your partner or other family members, you can discuss them here and find support. A man might disagree on whats essential and not see things from his wifes perspective. Everything he does makes me want to strangle him. While you may not have the in-laws of your dreams, his intervention can limit destructive behaviors on their behalf. Here is what she had to say. Lol. Some women have lower expectations of men than others. I felt a connection with everyones comment and simply knowing Im not alone makes me feel better. It is time to break this cycle of love and obey; you can just love. Things have to be his way almost all the time. Im 8 weeks pregnant and I cant stand my husband. My husband feels like I am useless, he does nothing to help around the house and does nothing to help with our daughter. I can't stop thinking about divorce and running away as far as I can from him. Two people will hardly ever agree on everything. I cant even explain it. Big mistake as she said, if I didnt tell my husband, she would. The name calling is not cool. If not checked, such little annoyances can grow to be larger problems. Some husbands work a lot because their job is demanding. This is critically important. Can you get me a pillow? Clearly, his behavior represented a selfishness in the marriage around controlling her time. Would you like your daughter to think she must do the bidding of her spouse even if to reach her potential she needed to do something else? What can you do. I completely agree. Do not let him continue to treat you this way! This!! The question We married young and quickly after a whirlwind summer. My friends hate to come by and spend time with me because he gets jealous. He always tries to have female escorts, he . Which means he will have nothing to lose, which means he is capable of every bad thing imaginable. You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page. He didnt understand how on one hand she would talk of wanting to have a baby (he was OK with the idea), but when it came time for intimacy, she would withhold that which he wanted. He doesnt lift a finger for housework, doesnt even notice what needs to be done. Again, giant hug. For us, that IS how we work as a team. Defeating Divorce is the preferred educational source that helps couples of all backgrounds fortify and gain clarity in their romantic relationships. But know that in the end, her relationship actually got better. So glad we dont live together , All men are the same . I have 3 kids and don't need a 4th. But things in my marriage have disintegrated rapidly. My doctor put me off work due to being a high risk pregnancy. Im not going to suggest ways of bringing him round, that is not the point the point is that you must do what you need to do so that you dont get depressed and then blame him. No. Sometimes when he kisses me all I can think about is how gross it is. I work 30 hours a week and try to juggle the kids, house stuff and trying taking care of myself. You dont want to simmer with resentment, you want to get to live your best life. For most couples, the spark goes out more quickly for one person than the other. I would also have him checked out by a vet again - excessive peeing and accidents inside are signs of a possible UTI. That is so stupid because he really cant do without me. I don't know where else to put this but I need to get it out. While these descriptions dont cover all possible reasons why you cant stand your husband anymore, youll gain better insight into their perspective. When he's the one that always acts retared. And it is sad that women see the problems in a marriage, and the men is not looking because he doesnt realize its a problem and something needs to change. Ask yourself these questions: Asking the above questions reveals some important details. Encourage your husband to speak with his family about a situation that upsets you, even if hes uncomfortable doing it. I did gain 18 lbs since December. If you want something done YOUR way , you do it YOURSELF. Meaning you cant make ppl do things exactly our way. Go have some man you hate use your hole and submit to him regularly for years before you dare accuse women of withholding or weaponising sex! Ive seen this childish attitude from men before they think of a woman is not giving him what he wants (sex) she must be doing it out of spite because whether or not she wants sex and how she would feel making love to someone she hates is irrelevant right? I can't stand my husband. It drives me crazy. I thought I had made the right decision to marry this man. Lol. What the hell??? No thanks! This led to conflict later when she returned. I would even suggest talking with a third party if things get worse. They were at a crossroads, neither understanding what was truly important to the other and nor did they understand the important tenets of marriage. If money is not an issue, ask your husband to work fewer hours or change his schedule in a way that works for both of you. Thats so ridiculous. Our team of talented and qualified writers provide helpful solutions to todays most prevalent relationship concerns. We check in at 7 AM and had Pitocin started at 8:45 AM. Divorce is another can of worms I am just not prepared for or interested in. But he sounds like hes doing pretty good if you ask me. Other husbands want to avoid the stress at home, so they pour themselves into their work. This can break any marriage apart. When one person needs a break, the other should pick up the slack and vice versa. He is rude, critical, immature and entitled. Again, you are using the phrase, turn you own to reach into his subconscious and make a mark. I, too, have done all of the above-mentioned things, and frankly Id be offended if someone insinuated that it somehow means Im not a good enough partner, wife, mother, etc. Ask Philippa Marriage. I feel like it just puts more on me because I do school drop off for our older son and the baby comes and I have juggle making breakfast, school lunch, getting all of us ready, while searching for clothing articles in the dang basket he folded because the 6 year old ran out of socks and cant find any. Usually he has at least one escort sometimes up to 3 or 4 depending what's going on how many loads are traveling together or what not. would be the equivalent of a man sleeping with the most unattractive woman in his city. OP, look up mental load on wife and see if that resonates. If you dont already have kids, run. I warn you, her story sounds pretty bad and this womans list of complaints against her husband are long and winding. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). However, if the caring and support is only going in one direction, from you to him, and you never get to be the priority, it doesnt look like a mutually loving relationship it looks like you are being a martyr. I'm sorry to say this, but I think you need to leave him. I'm 20 weeks pregnant and since the day I found out I have been having an aversion to my husband. Being a team doesnt mean sharing every task 50/50, it just means partnering with each other in the ways that work best for the household. Emotional intimacy is key, and if youve gone a while feeling distant, it may take a while to get close again. Before they were married, she would go out with her friends and have a good time. My husband use to be very kind and caring but changed since I became pregnant. Should I just leave? Tell me why this one kicks off the album. For example he bathes my 21 month old and leaves diaper, clothes on the floor, bath toys soaking in water ect. Maybe he doesnt either. I am 6 months pregnant and usually work as a nurse 50hrs/ week and have a 3 year old. Will it be equal all the time? & you took the words out my mouth w/ were all human, so for every 1 thing our husbands do that annoy us, were doing just as many things that annoy him, too. Exactly!!! Then come back again to the discussion of increasing the regularity of having sex and doing it in ways that neither of you have explored before. Is your marriage worth saving, or is it time to walk away? And 3) would I be ok with him criticizing me the same way? I fear we are no longer compatible. "The Sun", "Sun", "Sun Online" are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. No couple will be successful if they cannot spend time apart doing their own thing. Aversion to my husband feels like I am useless, he be done needs a break, the time you... 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